– By the way, before I get comments, this is NOT saying all guys are terrible. I know there are great men out there and I KNOW it goes both ways. So, with that being said let’s get this started –
You see this beautiful girl from across the room, you approach her, you start talking, you go out, you start developing feelings.. you want her to be yours right?
And you know she likes you or she wouldn’t waste her time on you.
If you don’t want her to be yours, what are you doing? Don’t play with her feelings. Tell her how you feel or let her go. Do NOT waste her time. If you see something with her, go get her. Take a risk. If you don’t see anything, tell her! Stop dragging her along just because you don’t want to be lonely. She deserves more than to be used like a toy and you know it.
Alright so let’s say you finally make it “official” and you are now a couple. Your friends are joking with you saying they “lost” you or that you’re whipped or something like that… Listen, there is NOTHING wrong with caring for her. There is nothing wrong with being there for her. I know that probably scares you, but it is normal. It’s normal to want to spend time with someone you like.
(Every woman is different, I am not speaking for every woman. I’m going off my feelings and experiences)
And while you are being there for her, please do not be so clingy that she feels like she is suffocating. If you feel the need to text her 24/7, dude, she is going to not answer. If you feel the need to be where she is at all times, you will become farther and farther away from her in every way. Don’t be that guy please. Let her be independent. Let her hang out with her friends alone. Let her hang out with her family alone. You get your independence that way also.
Trust her. If she has given you a reason to not trust her, that’s a different story. But if she has done absolutely NOTHING for you not to trust her, why are you being that way? Why are you questioning everything? Why are you checking her phone? Why are you jerking the phone out of her hands? Why are you going everywhere with her? I get it.. you have trust issues.. especially from your past relationships.. I get it.. I have those issues sometimes too. But I’m telling you right now, if you don’t have trust in a relationship.. or AT LEAST TRY to have it, it is going to be hard. Try to trust her.
Don’t pressure her. If it is taking her longer to open up, be patient with her. She has had a rough past and trust me she is trying her best to let you in. Give her time. It will be worth it when you are let all the way in. So please don’t try to force information out of her; she just isn’t ready for that yet. And when she is, you will know it.
Quit yelling at her. Start TALKING with her. If you are upset or angry with her, just talk. Don’t yell. That seriously won’t help. It will only make things worse. Fighting is such a storm. So please just make conversation and talk like adults. Fighting is childish. Stay calm. If you are extremely hurt, walk away for a bit. But ALWAYS come back to the problem and solve it.
Don’t put a bandaid over the issue and push it to the side. It won’t go away. Face it head on. Communication is a key in a healthy relationship in case you didn’t already know that… Tell each other things and don’t hold back. Once you do that, you will start seeing your relationship grow.
Please, please, please, please don’t lie. This one is HUGE. Tell the truth guys. I swear if you do that, she isn’t going to be as mad as she would be if you lie. And YES hiding things that are big counts as lying. This is a way to lose her ASAP honestly. Unless she’s blind in love and thinks it is all good. But I will tell you she will catch on and she will not stay forever. She will get tired of the lying and leave. So just be honest. It really isn’t that hard.
Don’t put her down. Use words to build her up. If you’re going to bring her down and upset her, do you really care about her? Calling her names is unacceptable. Telling her she isn’t good enough is unacceptable. I really can’t express how much a person gets drained emotionally through words. I still deal with my scars inside from this.
Do NOOTTTT cheat! If you want someone else, if you aren’t happy, get out of the relationship. Do not cheat. If you are even thinking about that, just tell her. Don’t text those girls, don’t hook up with anyone else. The only girl it should be with is HER. and if you don’t want that then leave. You and her shouldn’t suffer. And you shouldn’t go cheat on a great girl either.
I know this is long. I doubt anyone will even read this. But I’m tired of seeing all these amazing girls get hurt from “men” who really need to understand what they are doing!
Treat her right or someone else will. And don’t say “it’s hard”,
Give her the right amount of attention.
Get her food. (Haha I had to add that)
Be her best friend.
Make her laugh.
Be there when she cries.
Please be careful with her heart. She has been through so much and the last thing she needs is another jerk to tear her heart a part.
– Sammy J.